The Morning After We Won and Life After That
by fiberkitty
Summary: When Edward is reunited with a former partner at a gay marriage rights campaign, will lust turn to love, or are the bittersweet embers of their parting too far gone to be fanned to an inferno? AH Jasper/Edward
1. Chapter 1

**The Morning After We Won, And Life After That**

_Story 1 of 3 (1 of 2 if this one goes really really long) due to **Team Fiberkitty** for **FandomGivesBack-Eclipse**._

**Summary: **When Edward is reunited with a former partner at a gay marriage rights campaign, will lust turn to love, or are the bittersweet embers of their parting too far gone to be fanned to an inferno? Jasper/Edward, some flashback references to prior relationships.

This is one of the chosen prompts by teamfiberkitty, given by **LMGoldenEyes**. Her original prompt to me was: Jasper/Edward Lobbying to legalize gay marriage. [snip out some of the plot] Just a fluffy/lemony slash fic.

Well, writing fluffy is hard for me, and **TuesdayMidnight** posted up this amazingly beautiful picture and it kickstarted this fic. I don't think it's as fluffy as wanted, but I think it's worth it.

Thank you to **Mischief-Maker1** for beta'ing.

Despite the fact that you all know this- I do not own Twilight, nor its characters or any recognizable plot (if you happen to see any in this all human tale). No copyright infringement is intended.

The only copyright I have is on my own published novel, The Changeling's Champion.

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**Chapter 1: Edward's Story**

He was my first. I thought he was going to be my everything, but it turned out I was just an experiment for him. Jasper was not my type at all. I did not want to fall for him, but I had, and once I did- it was only a matter of time before we ended up in bed together. Well, we fell onto his couch more than into his bed.

Jasper had this long blue couch with an old plaid blanket over it in his parents' garage. There was a floral bedspread, more threadbare than actually there, covering the seat cushions to hide the old cigarette burns from his father. Jasper and I had sat on the couch for weeks playing video games on a small black and white tv Jasper had smuggled out into the garage. It had taken him a month to ask me what had been on his mind.

I had been openly gay at school, had even had a few boyfriends despite the bullying we had undergone. Riley was the one who convinced me to help start an LGBT group at our school. Riley was quietly confident, and the light of everyone's lives. His family adored him, had accepted his "revelation" as he put it, with a nonchalance I wish every person could have regarding the person (or persons) he or she loves. When Riley left for college my senior year of high school, I had mistakenly thought we were going to be fine. I thought occasional weekends together might lead to more than making out and the hurried hand jobs we had fumbled through.

College had not been easy for Riley, and I was actually at his parents' house for Friday night supper when things went horribly wrong. I was there with my family, waiting for my boyfriend of fourteen months to pull into the driveway in his beat-up, powder blue, but mostly rusted, vintage VW Bug that he had reupholstered the seats with a hideous green zebra print. It was the loudest Beetle I have yet to hear. By six PM, he had not pulled in and didn't answer his phone when his mom called to see where he was. That wasn't like him.

Worried, I called his roommate, Emmett. My memories are something of a blur after that. Emmett had had football practice or something and was just walking back to their dorm. We kept talking all the way up the four flights of stairs as he jogged them. For a larger guy, he was surprisingly light on his feet. I heard him fumbling with his keys, had to deal with him whistling at some girl down the hall, and then the "Oh Fuck. Oh shit!" that broke me. He dropped his phone and started screaming as he called 911 on their room phone.

Riley had overdosed on sleeping pills in the late-afternoon. There was no note, nothing. He and I had spoken after lunch while he did homework for his afternoon class and he had told me he loved me and he'd see me that night. He was planning on taking a short nap so he would be fine to drive, but planned on being home by five.

His parents let me go with them when they went to identify and claim the body, or whatever it was they had to do. I got to kiss him good-bye, and while his lips felt all wrong, it was a small blessing that I could do that. Our parents took pity on me and indulged my stages of grief. His parents allowed me stay in his room at their house, with the bedding I had pulled off his dorm room bed, for weeks after his death.

It took me two months before I could face going back to the group, and when I did, Jasper was there. We knew each other from class, and we had hung out while he "felt sorry for me". All of our acquaintances had taken a turn at making sure I was as okay as I could be in the situation. He was the only one who didn't expect anything from me, though. Jasper sat as I played any number of instruments my parents had gathered for me through the years, we did our homework in a companionable silence, and sometimes, he went with my parents and me to Riley's home for Friday night supper. Eventually those stopped. His parents found a support group that met Friday nights, and after one visit, I realized that it wasn't what I was ready for yet.

Jasper coaxed me to come to his house to play video games, to break our routine- and it worked. I started pulling out of my constant daze and found myself smiling again. Part of it may have been my repressed feelings for Jasper, but by spring I was actually finding myself happy. It didn't mean that I had stopped missing Riley, but I was living again. I could miss him and still be happy with where I was. It was after a month of hanging out with Jasper that he finally did more than make small talk or sound effects from whatever happened to his character in the game.

* * *

**Flashback**

"How did you know you were gay?" Jasper's cheeks quickly turned a coral shade beneath his already tanning skin.

I choked on my soda. After giving his question some thought, I cleared my throat and tried to formulate an answer. "No idea, really. The same way people know if they're straight, I guess. I just knew that I liked other guys. Not that I can't admire a girl's assets, but the female form doesn't do anything for me." I thought back on my Junior year during a play rehearsal when I had to kiss the lead female. She'd tried to kiss me more than the scene called for, and nothing. "Your sister is undeniably the hottest girl in our school and when she kissed me for the play last year, I felt nothing."

A bittersweet smile made my lips curl into a smile. Riley had made a huge deal over me kissing a girl, and shoved me into his shower, still clothed, to wash off the "cooties" before he would so much as hold my hand. That was the first night we had done more than kiss and grind against one another still clothed.

"Oh. How did your parents take it?"

My shrug was well-practiced; I gave it anytime someone asked me how I was doing. "They accepted it, and when I started dating Riley, my dad gave me a long lecture that safe-sex isn't just to prevent pregnancy in heterosexual relationships." Jasper continued to stare at the video game screen which had long since flashed to the top score screen after his character ran out of extra lives. He'd been coming to our meetings without saying anything, and I knew he had gone on a few dates with the new girl, Alice, but I had not really paid attention. "Why?"

His blue eyes locked on my face, and my already building crush became a monsoon that buffeted me on all sides. The war present in his eyes was hard to view, but I knew he needed me to watch him struggle. With shaking fingers, I reached for his hand. My tentative touch turned to him clinging to me as his life-line. "Edward, I'm so confused. I don't... I don't know. I don't..." He closed his eyes, but the heaviness of his stare was still present through his eyelids.

I moved closer, _so I could speak more quietly _I kept telling myself, and our thighs touched from hip to knee. My heart beat so rapidly I thought it was going to burst. My vision grew spotted from holding my breath, and I could feel him quivering beside me as he tensed. "Are you feeling something for someone new and it is confusing you?"

Jasper's blond hair rustled as he shook his head rapidly. "Not just someone." His eyes opened and he looked at me with a look of such innocence it astounded me. My skin burned as his free hand lifted to touch my jaw, one finger playing with a lock of hair that was in front of my ear. "You. Edward, you've filled my thoughts, and I don't understand any of it. I think about touching you like this and it goes against everything I've ever known and had my parents tell me."

His words skipped through my thoughts, registering occasionally, as I focused on the hand that now rested on my chest, and the other holding my head with a finger below my jaw, four splayed across my cheek. I was immobile, held under the spell of what he needed from me. My eyes watched his full lips as he stumbled over rushed words, and so caught in the whispers was I that I didn't notice him getting closer, until the soft tickle of the barely there hair on his chin brushed against mine.

Warm lips were wet at the center, and I panicked as he kissed me. He might not be sure of what he wanted, but my body did. My already thundering heart seized up as I kissed Jasper back. The worst he could do was shove me away and say it was a mistake. It would hurt, but I was accustomed to living in pain. The fingers holding me captive moved into my hair and his whole body turned, one leg drawing up and then going behind me.

"What?" I asked as he pulled back but brought me with him until I was half on top of his body.

"Just shut up," he murmured against my lips. Our kiss resumed as his tongue fluttered, uncertain, at the edge of my lip as he asked permission in the only way he knew how. If he needed _this_ to figure out what he felt beyond an indefinite attraction, I could certainly add these kisses to my future late-night fantasies.

I opened for him, and as his tongue entered my mouth, his hands stopped their frenetic movement, and he stilled beneath me. My eyes opened to slits, sneaking a peek at Jasper, and I found him staring at me. Seeing the borderline panic on his face, I pulled back, holding myself up on the couch. "We can stop, Jasper; it's okay."

His eyes moved from my face, down over my chest, and then locked where our hips were still somewhat pressed together. "I wasn't expecting, well, this." His hand reached down and pressed along the front of his jeans where a hard ridge of flesh was making its presence known.

"That can happen while kissing. It happens a lot, actually."

Jasper's answering smirk and eye rolling lightened the seriousness he had fallen into. "It didn't really happen with Alice." When I asked if he wanted to talk about that, he shook his head, a gentle smile returning to his lips. "No, I'd rather kiss you again; if you're enjoying it, that is." A short affirmation led to Jasper pulling my t-shirt up over my head and sliding his hands beneath my undershirt. "I want to feel you, Edward."

I was overly slim in comparison to his lanky yet muscled form, and hesitated as he tried to pull the ribbed tank up. "Jasper, I'm not sure about this." My experience had not gone past this stage often, even with Riley, and it wasn't far at all with him. "What do you want from me? From us?"

"Right now? I just want to feel your skin against mine and kiss you."

Kissing I could do. A little bit of rubbing against each other I could probably handle as well. "Then you should take your shirt off, too, Jasper."

We rushed from hard kisses to scratching at one another's backs and tugging on hips in a desperate need for friction between our bodies. "I want you, Edward." His groan was echoed in the lifting of his hips to rub our erections together. Only our jeans and underwear separated us. My lack of an answer besides nipping at his lips must have been taken as acquiescence. Jasper reached down to undo his belt, followed by the button, and dragged the zipper down with care, releasing his blue cotton clad flesh. His fingers toyed with the snaps holding my jeans closed and after arching one dark blond eyebrow, tugged, popping all three free. The sound was louder than our breathing as his fingers closed over my arousal.

My hiss startled him and he gripped harder. I couldn't hold back the groan. "Fuck, Jasp-_er_!" He fisted me through my briefs and stroked my length, squeezing at the tip before running his fingers to the base again.

**End Flashback**

* * *

They say a person never forgets his or her first time. In many ways, I haven't. True, parts of it have drifted into a nostalgic haze of what I wish had happened. Other parts are crystal clear. I remember the shaking hands Jasper and I had as we put a condom on him and generously coated him and me with the lube packets he had inside a hollowed out textbook in the drawer beside the couch. I remember the burning ache as he pushed his way into me, and the way I fought to hide the pain by stroking his shoulders and looking up at his face or to the cobwebbed rafters in the garage. Jasper's forehead glistened with sweat as he tried to go easy on me, but it was both of our first times. He didn't last long, _that _I remember, but neither did I. The sight of his face as it was simultaneously tensed in ecstasy while also the most relaxed I had ever seen him would have been enough to send me over if I hadn't been stroking myself.

Mostly though, I remember how he pulled out when finished, and sat as far away from me on the couch as possible, legs drawn up under his chin. Jasper didn't say a word for the longest time. I was naked, curled up in the corner of the cushions; my head, shoulder, and back resting on the arm of the couch, as I made myself as small as possible. I felt empty. I had been used. I was an experiment. It wasn't done out of love, not even affection; just lust and his need to find out in whom, or what, he was interested. In a broken, raspy voice, that was tight with my effort to hide the tears wanting to be shed, I had whispered that I should go. He finally turned to look at me, and there was so much remorse on his face, that I wanted to cry for him instead of my own pain.

"Yeah, you probably should. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I did see him at school the next day, but we didn't speak. Our friendship was over. Jasper didn't come to any more of the meetings; he worked harder on the teams for football, basketball, and swimming. I focused on the arrangements for the spring musical, and getting ready for college.

In college, I was the "gay geek" as my roommate, James, had labeled me. I double majored in education and music with a minor in theater/communications. By my Junior year, most of the men I might have been interested in learned I was far too busy with my academics to be much of a boyfriend, and what needs I did allow myself to have were met with my long-term friend with benefits, Jake.

Jake was my best friend. We were like fire and ice, complete opposites, yet we worked in bed, and occasionally out of it. Jake and I had tried dating, being more than just friends with benefits, but it never lasted for long. His temper and my inability to "loosen up" limited our potential as a couple. In grad school, we were about an hour apart, and I can still remember last year when he told me he'd met someone who made him want to settle down. Demetri was... obnoxious. I did not like him, or the new interests he brought to Jake's life, at all.

One might claim it was jealousy, but I prefer to think of it as an annoyance at changing my routine. I was not one for the rallies, marches, and other events in the LGBT community. Jake and Dem dragged me to them, deaf to my complaints. Perhaps from a guilty conscience, or just a desire to no longer have a third-wheel, Jake was determined to play match-maker wherever we went, including the latest event, a party before tomorrow's gay marriage rights campaign.

Yes, I would one day like to marry whichever partner I have chosen to share my life with, but I am in no hurry for that to occur, nor am I concerned with making it legal or not. I have little interest in religion nor legal matters in regards to matters of the heart. For my friends however, I was willing to ignore my preferences to support them in their desire to join in matrimony. Besides, I had a lovely view of a half-naked man dancing to some live music.

His skin was slightly tan, dark blond hair was sun-bleached at the tips, and the dress shirt he had worn had just been tied around his hips over designer jeans. My dancer obviously came from money, but it was the comfort of old-money, not some entrepreneur or young CEO. His posture was too relaxed; he was accustomed to being under scrutiny, but not to the point of it being a reflection of his actions.

I watched in amusement as he stole a cowboy hat from a passerby, and I just caught an edge of a smiling profile. My dancer turned as if he felt my gaze, and any interest I had in him faded as quickly as it had begun. Several tattooed stars decorated his torso from the "v" of his hipbones and curve up his sides, accentuating lean muscles. They were well done and beautiful, but still a turn-off. Most men I had come across in my age-range bearing those stars were cookie-cutter copies of one another, and not what I was looking for.

"I think he likes you, Edward." Jake came up behind me and put his hands on my hips as he swayed us to the music. "He asked Dem about you over by the snack tables. He's single, you're single, and we already had reservations at that nice place over on State Street." I could feel Jake's grin as he whispered into my ear. "I already called in and had the reservations changed from three to four. You need to get laid, Edward. Since Dem won't share, we decided to make sure you get to at least have a chance. Now, let's ditch this block party, go get cleaned up for dinner, have our little date, and tomorrow we can all be back here for the real rally."

I was not pleased about the almost blind-date with Mister Star Dancer, and pouted through my shower, getting dressed, even through shaving and putting on cologne. Not trusting me to walk on my own, Jake and Demetri each took one of my arms to tug me out of the house. Instead of fighting for shotgun, Demetri shoved me in the back seat and climbed in beside me, as if I'd jump out of the car with as fast as Jake drives.

As we turned onto the side street for the restaurant's valet parking, Demetri gave me what I think was supposed to be a pep talk. "It really won't be as bad as you're making it out to be, Edward. Jasper seemed really nice."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your reviews. I greatly appreciate the moments you took to leave your thoughts, as well as those who asked for information on obtaining The Changeling's Champion. Links for it can be found on my profile page. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor its characters. No copyright infringement is intended  
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**Chapter 2: Jasper's Story**

I couldn't believe my eyes. Edward Cullen was not thirty feet away from where I was dancing to the music Laurent's band played. Laurent and I were roommates, and he had always wanted more from me. I just never saw that it was in my cards, maybe because he reminded me too damn much of Edward. He was quiet, too quiet, and when he did speak, had something that cut you to the bone or had you laughing until your eyes teared up. He was into music, too, though not in the same way Edward had been.

I had felt _his_ eyes on my back; there was just something about the way Edward watches people. I knew who it was before I snuck a peek while refilling my water bottle and met his friend. Those jade depths are inhumanly intense and expressive. So much can be seen in them. I saw his disappointment in me our first time, our only time. He had closed his eyes or looked away whenever mine opened; he wouldn't meet my gaze. When Edward did look at me, his mind was somewhere else and he turned his face away quickly.

After, as I sat, trying to figure out what I had done wrong, or how to apologize for not being better (even though it was my first time), he curled up as small as he could to avoid touching me. I had finally found the one person who made me feel whole, and I fucked it up. By school the next day, it was easier to pretend we hadn't done anything; the pain in his eyes was too accusatory, too angry for me to accept. Weeks later, when I went to his house to try and talk to him, his mother had turned me away.

"_Haven't you hurt my son enough? Edward was finally coming back to us after losing Riley. It was devastating to him, to all of us, when Riley died. He had finally stopped crying himself to sleep, and now Carlisle and I are again listening to him sob into his pillows. Jasper, just let Edward heal."_

Not wanting to hurt him further, I walked away from having him in my life in any capacity. Every man since has been one more mistake I've made. Every person I have fallen for and eventually taken to bed has left me with that same sense that I did them wrong.

I tried making a go of it with Alice, but she moved on with Peter, my college roommate. Within a year of dating, I knew without a doubt that I was gay, and Alice knew well before then, I'm certain. She humored me for months, until one day Alice eventually gave me a soft kiss , told me she was going to start dating Peter and had set me up on a date with a friend of hers. I went out with Ben a few times, but there wasn't any chemistry between us.

Things with Garrett had gone marginally better until he invited me to stay for the night. Six months into our relationship he had decided I was "it" for him and told me after the first time we slept together. We'd kissed, touched, and Garrett had given me a blow job in the back seat during a movie at the drive-in, but we had never made time enough for sex until that night. Things had gone well until after we finished.

* * *

**Flashback**

Garrett's face was flushed, and welts from my nails scratching at his back were just beginning to show on the tops of his shoulders. He stretched and his cock showed above the sheet as the cotton fell down around his thighs. I was a little tender from his love-making, as I assumed he was from when he'd let me enter him first. I watched him in the mirror as I quickly rinsed my hands and ran my wet fingers through my hair. Outside of a one-night stand I had with a guy at a club who had reminded me of my first love, it was my only time since Edward. That one night, shortly after my break-up with Alice, doesn't even really count to me. I never found out his name or saw him again. We had used condoms, including a cut open one when he gave me advice on how to do a proper rimming- damn could that guy groan when I did it just right. We finished, he thanked me, and disappeared from the back of my van and went back to the club.

I was in love with Garrett, enough that I had told him as such on numerous occasions, but I wasn't ready to plan out the rest of my life around him. I was content with how things were going. Watching him stretch, and then smile when he saw me, filled me with soft flutters. He was in many ways my physical double- we were the same height and weight down to the ounce, but Garrett just seemed softer somehow. His cheeks were fuller, jaw wider, and there was a perpetual scruff that never went away no matter how well he claimed to have shaved.

"Come back to bed, Babe." I stiffened momentarily at his words before smoothing over the motion; I hated terms of endearment. They always seemed unnecessary, like the person was trying too hard. Show me love in actions, not words.

"I had to get rid of our condoms, Garrett. I'm all wiped clean, my hands are washed, and now I'm all yours again." As I spoke, his arms opened to welcome me back to the bed. "Hmm? You want me right there? I'm not sure." My cheeks ached with my grin as I smiled at my lover.

A large hand swiped at me as I neared the bed, pulling me down into a tangle of long limbs and desperate kisses as we couldn't get close enough. "I want you right here, always, Jasper. You, me, and maybe we can adopt a child or two in a few years. We can buy a house in the suburbs."

I scooted out of his arms faster than I had landed there. His dark brown eyes locked on mine as I stroked his cheek and started rambling. "I kinda like the city life. I'm not sure about kids or any of that. I like not having those responsibilities right now. Maybe in a few years I might start thinking about where children fit into my life. I don't see kids in my near future though, sorry."

His face fell. "Oh. I... Nevermind." Garrett rolled over, showing me his back, and pulled the sheet up tight over him.

He shrugged off my hand as I squeezed his lower arm. "Gare, talk to me. Don't shut me out." His skin felt feverishly hot as I rubbed along the small strip of his back I could see above the sheet.

"We can talk in the morning." His body language was that of a defeated man. Garrett's reaction was making me more angry than his planning without my input.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair before pounding the bed once. "We can talk now or later tomorrow. I'm not staying over if you're not going to talk. A cold shoulder makes the bed pretty uncomfortable."

His silent treatment persisted no matter how I tried to explain my stance on children. After a quarter hour of talking and getting no response, I pulled on my boxers and jeans, and was reaching for my discarded undershirt when Garrett rolled over. "If you leave, don't bother coming back."

I wasn't one for ultimatums and snapped back, "Seeing as my whole fucking future was just planned without my input, and then you shut me out when I went against your little agenda, maybe you're right- I shouldn't bother. I'm obviously not living up to the pedestal I was set atop without my knowledge. I'm not perfect, Garrett, no one is. In a relationship, like I thought this is, or was, or I don't know, people talk. They talk about what they want."

My heart screamed at me as I slid my arms into the undershirt and un-bunched the fabric to slide down my torso. "Garrett, I love you. I haven't said that to anyone before but family and Alice. She's my best friend, so none of them really count. I love _you_. Yeah, I don't think much about the future because all I have in mind right now is getting through grad school and working in the lab while I earn my doctorate in microbiology. I have at least three more years of the program before I can get a job that will earn anything beyond my next semester's tuition and books. My parents can't afford to help me at all so I work shitty hours in several places to make ends meet. That isn't a life to bring kids into. I barely make time to be a decent boyfriend to you. I'd love to share my life with you, but slowly, one step at a time."

Garrett moved quicker than my eyes could follow as he reached for my t-shirt at the end of his bed. "I won't wait that long for what you might not want, Jasper. Thanks for tonight. It was nice while it lasted."

**End Flashback**

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Sadly, my next relationship did not go much better. Alistair was actually one of my dad's business partners. He was younger than my father, only twelve years older than I am. For all intents and purposes, I guess I was his boy toy. He paid off a large chunk of my educational debt, and made a no-strings attached down payment on the loft I still have.

In exchange, I went to all the parties he needed a date for. I found suits and sometimes tuxes delivered while I was out, ready for me to shower and change. Alistair kept me as his whore for almost a year. Only when I asked him if he saw me as more than a trophy date, did I see anything but the elegant, coldly dismissive nature he showed the world.

He had struck me with the back of his hand, bloodying my lip as it was smashed between my teeth and his large ruby ring. Alistair's words burrowed into my heart where they took up an icy residence. "_You'll never be anything more than a whore. You want it all easy, fast, and hard." _He had glared as I wiped blood-flecked spittle onto my starched white cuff. That image is still locked in my mind, as are the last words he spoke to me. "_Jasper, you take everything in this world for granted, and can't just accept your place in the world. Being my whore is the best you'll ever be. You're damaged goods, and no one will want more than a night or two in the bed I bought you."_

His money may have been used in the purchase transaction, but I was the one who bought it. My emotional submission to Alistair's wishes earned my loft, the large bed he had ordered because he wanted to sleep on something beautiful, and the bills he had written off. The money was chump change to him, and in this case, I was the chump.

Out of my time with Alistair, I did learn quite a bit about the art of sex, despite my lack of an emotional connection with him. While Demetri talked about Edward as I sipped on water and handed over a few dollars for a frozen smoothie bar, I snuck several peeks at Edward. I couldn't help but wonder if I would get a second chance with him. He was absolutely beautiful still, despite a detachment from his surroundings. Age had treated him well; he was as breathtaking at thirty as he had been at eighteen.

With the name of the restaurant (one I had frequented with Alistair), the time, and Demetri's number scrawled onto a slip of a napkin, I returned to my place near the stage and danced while Laurent tried to silently get me to spill why I was grinning. "Later," I mouthed, and then stole a hat from one of his groupies as she walked by. Pulling it low on my face, I could just see Edward through a missing slat as I gyrated to the increasing beat.

Feeling the heat of his gaze made me do a short strip-tease until my shirt was tied around my waist. I wanted him to see how well I had taken care of myself. He stared at my back, lips twitching in the same way they had as I peeled off my shirt and let him see me for the first time so many years ago. Edward was still attracted to me, even if he didn't know who I was.

Demetri's boyfriend wrapped his arms around Edward, and was too familiar for my liking. His larger frame swallowed up Edward's as dark hands gripped those slim hips. Edward's ass was pressed back against the long-haired man's cock as they rocked side to side, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't read his lips while they talked. Edward frowned at the words, and stalked off with a pout set upon his face.

0o0o0oo0o0o0

That same petulant look was mixed with remembered pain as he shook my hand after Demetri made the introductions. "Hello, Jasper, it's nice to see you again." His eyes said he meant anything except that.

"You as well, Edward."

Jake looked between us and crossed his arms. "_That_ Jasper?" When Edward nodded, Jake shook his head. "I don't fucking believe it. Of anyone Dem would set you up with, it would be this son of a..." He wasn't given a chance to finish sharing his opinion of me as the hostess led us to our table.

I turned to walk away but Edward reached for my shirt sleeve and gave a single shake of his head. "You came this far, we might as well have dinner. I promise Jake will behave. He is protective of me."

As Edward walked in front of me, I couldn't even consider a second thought of not following. Pale denim wrapped strong, slender thighs, and barely encased an ass meant to be squeezed. I would have followed that ass anywhere, regardless of whom it was a part of. Each step presented an internal struggle; I had to fight the urge to rest my hand on his lower back and guide him down the aisle between tables as if he was really my date.

The hostess, a pretty redhead named Victoria, led us to a small side room set up with four chairs around a small circular table. The room was lit entirely by candles. We all stood awkwardly until I reached for Edward's chair, pulling it out for him."Thank you," he whispered. A delicate blush highlighted the tops of his cheeks as he chanced a small glance up at me while sitting.

The four of us sat in uncomfortable silence as the waitress came over and rushed through the evening's specials. Demetri cleared his throat, making all of us jump, and ordered a bottle of wine. Jake played with a flaw in the tablecloth while glaring at me and I was uncertain where I could look. Demetri just smiled into his glass as if this was a grand game to him, Jake wanted to slit my throat with the delicate steak knife set beside his plate, and Edward had yet to look up again. There was a bit of a staring match between Edward and the candle in the center of our table, as if he was willing it to tip over and engulf our room in flames.

"I'm pretty sure the establishment might not like it if you started their table on fire, Edward." My whisper startled him. He ducked his head down further, the muscles along the back of his neck visibly tense. It was obvious he was uncomfortable with me being here. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the money clip where I kept my business cards. "I won't stay here and bother you, Edward. If you want to talk over coffee, my office number at the lab rings through to my cellphone if I'm out. Thank you for the invite, Demetri." I tossed a twenty down onto the table for the wine. "Have a good night." I walked out before they could say another word.

* * *

It took three days, but he called. At least, I assumed it was him. The number came from an affluent suburb a half hour north of the city. My phone rang three times before stopping. When he called back a few minutes later, the ringer protested just once. It was on the dial tone before I could answer it. I didn't wait for the ringer the third time. As soon as my phone lit up that a call was incoming, I pressed "connect."

"Doctor Whitlock, University Bio-Chem Lab. How may I help you?" If it wasn't Edward, I would be in a shitload of trouble for not answering in a professional manner. I oversaw the undergrads with their projects, so lucky for me, I was normally left alone until a week before their deadlines when they realized they had more work to do than they thought.

"Jasper?" _Bingo! _"It's Edward. I wasn't sure I should call or even what we have to talk about, but I guess you do since you gave me your card." He sounded ready to hang up the phone and run as far away as possible at the slightest sound. When he finally cleared his throat, I started to speak, and was talked over just as quickly. "I hang out at Steep and Brew on weekend mornings so I can get my work done in peace. If you wanted to stop by, I promise I can put my books away for a little while." He hung up before I set a time or anything.

I smiled as I ran through my contacts until I came across Demetri's number. "Demetri, it's Jasper; the guy from the disaster of a dinner on Friday. I need to know where Edward works." All too happy to share whatever information he could, Demetri tried to coax out of me what I intended to do. "Make things right, Demetri. That's all. I need to make things right." With the high school's address pulled up on my computer, I dialed my favorite pint-sized florist.


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV**

"Roses? Really?" I gave a panicked look to James who just laughed. "What does he think he's doing?"

I was still in disbelief as James put his feet up on our coffee table and picked up one of the twenty cards that had been stuck into the rainbow of roses that now took up my living room. They had been quite the surprise when I walked in and saw my name on the first card. I had turned around and went to the office immediately after seeing James wasn't home. The rainbow started at plum shaded roses and went all the way to sinfully crimson ones that were so tightly budded, they'd continue to bloom for several days. Mrs. Cope, the manager of my town home complex, just gave me a wide-eyed look as she told me the florist made her let her in when I'd asked why my living room looked like a set for engagement photos.

When Jasper had called earlier in the day to tell me I had a gift arriving, I had purposely blown off his call, expecting it to be some "Oh, I'm sorry I can't make it for coffee" and an asinine excuse. I had not expected his gentle drawl (from going to college down south, I assumed) and the whispered "I hope you don't mind, Edward, but I wanted to apologize for my presence startling you the other night at dinner. I thought a small token would be nice. Oh, and you might desire to wear comfortable shoes on Saturday."

A barking laugh pulled me from my thoughts. "Oh, Edward, I think he's in love." James cleared his throat and began to read, "'_She couldn't find green roses the shade of your eyes; these mint ones were the best we could do. Nothing compares to the intensity of your eyes, and I cannot wait to look into them again_.' What a fucking douche-bag. Please tell me you're not going to have coffee with him."

With heated cheeks, I faced the kitchen, giving my roommate a view of my back; I did not want him to see my blush. Despite the dull ache that remained in my chest from how Jasper had treated me, a part of me missed the friendship we had started twelve years ago. He was still so handsome my heart sped up just looking at him. It had taken everything in me to not climb into his lap at the restaurant and beg him to explain what I had done wrong, as he was obviously interested in men now.

His hair was a darker shade of blonde, with some sun lightened pieces from being outside, and just a hint of pale strands at the temples where his natural coloring would camouflage going gray for some time yet. Jasper's blue eyes still gave off a calm, almost lazy feel, but when he snapped to attention, they could look into your heart. I wasn't ready for anyone to see inside of me. James and I had lived together ever since college, and he barely knew what was going on in my head. I was over the pain of losing Riley, as much as one is ever over that type of sudden loss, but I'm not certain even twelve years had been enough to remove the pained stain Jasper had spread across my soul. At thirty, I had yet to find some "great love of my life" or whatever shit James was spouting about his lay of the week. Most Friday nights found him bringing some new girl home, or guy if he was drunk enough, and by Thursday, it was over. On Monday, she was the love of his life; by Wednesday she was clingy, and Thursday... Yeah, when Thursday evening rolled around and James had not called her/him back, I was giving some new person a tissue and apologizing for my roommates latest asshole move. It's not that my roommate is a bad guy, he's just... very passionate for a short period of time.

When James asked me for a second time if I was going to have coffee with Jasper, I shrugged and walked to the deep yellow roses that reminded me of the delicate gold of the morning sun. Six bouquets of those decorated the bookcases. Fingering a blossom, I whispered my response. "I think I am, James. It _has _been twelve years. I know that I'm not the same person I was then; he probably isn't either. I'm not expecting to become friends out of a single cup of coffee, but it would be nice to know that he's doing well."

The soft bubbling sound of James' chugging his beer was background noise to the beating of my heart. "It's not like I actually have time for a boyfriend anyway, James. The school," where Jasper had also sent roses, "can't afford to keep me much longer with all the budget cuts. I'll probably be moving to the Chicago area to look for a new job." My parents were looking into the suburbs anyway. It would be nice to stay close to them.

He nodded, let out a rather rude belch, and sat up to spin the bottle cap on the table. "And this Jasper lives in Rockford, so what's the difference? He's driving over an hour to come see you. That means he wants something besides just catching up, or he'd have done so at dinner and gotten out of your life, again." It would have done no use to argue that Jasper works in Madison, so I held my tongue. I was halfway down the hall, ignoring my roommate, when he called after me, "Ya know, at least with Jake, he was honest about his intentions; he wanted a fuck when he was horny and a body in his bed when it was cold out. This guy is going to hurt you, Edward. You've only had two, maybe three if you didn't tell me, dicks up your ass. I think it's time you go find someone new. Jake's occupied, and even if I drank enough to not care whom I was fucking, you'd never let me, so it's time to get you laid. Jake's tried for months, Dem tried to hook you up with this cowboy-turned-sort-of-ex, and well, I think you should at least ride the cowboy again so you can get some. Then, we'll doll you all up in some leather, eye liner, boots, and a silky shirt, and you'll find a dozen or more men all willing to make you their boy toy. You can have your pick of the world, Edward, if you just open your eyes."

0o0o0oo0o0o0

My eyes were barely open as I sipped my coffee. I had been up until after three convincing myself I shouldn't go. My brain was still playing some grand soundtrack of my heart's demise as I showered, shaved, put on the black dress shirt over a white undershirt, pulled on a nicer pair of jeans, and my favorite Oxfords. By the time I was in my favorite booth at the back of the coffee shop, my heartbeat was so loud my nay-saying thoughts were drowned out completely.

"There you are!" I choked into my mug as Jasper jogged up the three steps and slid into my booth. I hadn't even heard the bell above the door. "You look nice." His hand jutted out across the table and dropped a flower in front of me. "It's a hot chocolate calla lily, or so Alice tells me. It was pretty and I thought you'd like it. She didn't have enough to fill your home with, so I had to make do with roses. I hope you liked them; you didn't call to say anything."

"I...um..." I was speechless. "Thank you." My whispered reply earned a soft smile. "James was amused by the flowers, as well as your notes."

The sparkle in his eyes dampened a bit. "James?" The cocky smile fell as well. This was too much fun so I continued down the path his thoughts had gone.

"Yes, we live together; we have for years. He was at work when your florist manhandled her way into our home and set up a mini greenhouse in the living room. They were quite pretty, but I'm not much into flowers, unless they're part of the botanical garden. I prefer things not be killed solely for my enjoyment."

His lips curved into a Cheshire Cat grin. "So, you _did_ enjoy them."

My lower lip stung as I sucked it back between my teeth and bit down to prevent a shy smile. When I had my response under control, I lifted my eyes to his. "You obviously wanted us to have a chance to talk and catch up, so I have provided it. How have you been?"

Jasper held up his finger and slid out of the booth. His long legs looked endless as he strode across the room to the pick-up counter. While he flashed a smile at the barista and tucked a dollar or two into the tip jar, I smelled the delicate fragrance of the blossom he'd brought me, and did my best to hide my pleasure in the small act. This single flower meant more than all the roses. Jasper came back, carrying a tray with breakfast sandwiches, his coffee, as well as a sealed carafe. "Here, eat. You're too thin."

I shrugged as a plate was pushed across to me. "I eat enough."

"James should feed you more then." He bit into the croissant, and buttery flakes of dough soon littered his shirt and the table. "It's his duty and shit. You take care of each other."

I'd played the unwitting game for long enough. "Do you make sure your roommate is eating? The only time James cares if I'm eating is if he wants me to cover his half of our rent until his check clears."

"Actually, I do have to make sure Laurent eats. Otherwise, he'd think coffee was breakfast, a Diet Coke and a handful of chips was lunch, and a slice of cold pizza is supper. I try to leave food out where he'll find it before I head to work." Jasper went quiet as he took another bite of sandwich and then sipped his coffee. "He's the musician who played the street party venue, Laurent I mean. We've been roommates since Alistair and I parted ways. I needed someone to pay utilities while I finished up the last of my schooling. My loft was already paid for," he added as an afterthought.

We talked a bit about our jobs, mine as a music teacher and his as a professor and researcher. Things were as easy as they had ever been before that one day. We seemed to just fall in step with one another. Conversation ebbed and flowed around eating, drinking, and even as I put my notebooks and graded homework back into my bag and followed Jasper down State Street. The day was cool, with autumn finally making its presence known, and regret wormed its way down to my hands as the wind chilled them. A heated squeeze claimed my right fingers and Jasper grinned. "It's a bit cooler than I expected; let's go in to Shakti to warm up."

He didn't let go of my hand, and even pulled me into the sweetly oppressive air of the shop. When I fidgeted in an attempt to get free, Jasper clung tighter. "Are you trying to get away from me, Edward?" The husky tone he used made me feel like I was looking into the eyes of a panther on the prowl. "Do you want to get away?"

_No, I don't._ "You don't actually have me, so there's nothing to get away from." My words ached with my lie. He'd already caught me in his web.

Jasper turned, his eyes narrowing as he looked into my eyes. "I don't know what you've been through since high school, but I know that I have never once forgotten you, Edward. Every guy I've been with has been me trying to make up for however I fucked up things between us."

I pulled my hand away, my skin burning and bones rebelling as he tried to keep me there. "However? Really, Jasper?" I moved up closer so we were nose to nose. My whisper hung in the air, drifting on the incense. "You fucked me and then pulled away once you were done, as if I was something dirty. It was my first time, Jasper, and I was used as you tried to figure out if you were into guys, girls, or both. So, however you fucked things up? Seeing as you hadn't managed to figure that out yet, I'll let you keep thinking about it."

Gemstones in the spinning glass case vibrated as I stomped toward the door, and patrons looking at the various bumper stickers gave me dirty looks as Jasper yelled my name. I was in front of Himal Chuli when lean arms wrapped around my chest, stopping me as if I was trying to pull two adults with each step. Heated breath tickled my ear in an intimate caress. "For twelve years, the look in your eyes as I disappointed you has haunted me every time I've made love or just fucked. I was falling in love with you, Edward. I was confused and worried, and had a thousand and one thoughts going through my head, but I never _ever _was using you."

I was set free long enough to take a step away, and he countered, sprinting to be in front of me. "Dammit, Edward! You. It's always been you." I barely registered stinging pain as he pulled my hair and our lips met.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4- JPOV**

He ran. I had expected him to fight me, but he ran. We both had a lot to think about, so I had let him run away. Twelve years of misconceptions could not be erased in one talk, nor could how that one day shaped us be neglected. I had physically hurt him and made him feel used. He tried to hide his pain, and I thought I wasn't good enough. Youthful miscommunication had ruined what might have been something great- what could still be something great.

For those handful of heartbeats, as his tongue and mine reacquainted, and my hands slid from his unruly hair, down his back, to grab him by the belt and fuse our bodies together, he was mine again. I felt that shimmering pulse run through my veins as our flesh communed as improperly as we dared in the middle of downtown Madison on the busiest street.

"You're smiling, Jasper." Alice grinned and reached across the table to tap her finger on my nose. "I told you I could convince him to come with us to Chicago for the day. Aren't I always right, mon cher?"

I rolled my eyes as I agreed with her, and took another sip of my coffee as we waited on Edward to join us at Monty's. "Yes, Alice. But, this time, I don't know. I think I fucked up too badly, too long ago, for an 'I'm sorry I was young and stupid; you're still the only one who makes my blood sizzle. I want to fuck you senseless and then live happily ever after with you' to work."

A choking cough was soon overshadowed by another's laughter and I turned around to see Edward and Jake walk in, Demetri a few steps behind them with this morning's newspaper. "I...um..." Edward had not stopped coughing, and was a peculiar pale shade of gray, yet his cheeks were a bright pink. "Hello," he finally managed to squeak out.

"That's definitely one way to get an apology across, Jasper," Jake bellowed between chuckles as he slid into the booth beside Alice. His huge frame made her seem even more child-like. "Hi there. I'm Jacob Black. We figured since we were all headed to the same place, we'd come have breakfast, too."

"Alice Brandon; welcome to the party." She gave them her usual dazzling smile, and turned to Edward and Demetri. She cocked her head to the side and looked at the men with their similar builds and wild hair before standing up on the booth seat to climb over me to get to Edward.

He just barely caught her. "Hello again, Alice. Nice to see you after all these years." I watched them embrace with a mild jealousy of the ease at which he had greeted her. "I had heard you were still in town, but hadn't had much reason to come look for you." I knew he meant because of my relationship with Alice.

She released Edward when I tugged at the hem of her jeans, and she returned to her seat. My unintentional declaration apparently being ignored, Edward slid in beside me, and Demetri beside him, so that the three of us were tightly wedged together. I was pressed against Edward from shoulder to hip, and down to my knee.

"Sorry, I thought it was going to be just the three of us, or I'd have gotten a larger table." I turned to look at Edward who was still a flattering shade of crimson. Pretending I hadn't said anything he might have overheard, I decided to bait him, just a little. Moving closer, if it was even possible, my lips brushed against Edward's ear, earning a shiver. "You look flushed, Edward. Are you alright?"

His lips parted and then closed quickly, as if he changed his mind about what he was going to say. Edward turned away from me, looking at the waitress who had just walked by. "Coffee, donut french toast. He'll have the corned beef hash, eggs over medium, a refill on his coffee, and when it's all done, we'll each have a slice of the peanut butter cup, Oreo pie to go, forks too please. My ticket."

Everyone turned to look at me after Edward put his menu back in the holder along the wall. "Well, damn, I guess I don't need to order anything except some more creamers for the table to go with my coffee." It _was_ what I normally ordered, but I wasn't sure I wanted anyone placing an order for me. We'd only had breakfast a few times back in highschool; that he remembered what I liked made my heart thunder in my chest.

Only when everyone else had ordered food did I chance a glance at Edward who had this look of amused expectation on his face. "Did you want something, Jasper?" The challenge in his tone was playful.

"Nothing we can't discuss on the road to Chicago." When Alice had told me Edward would be accompanying us to Chicago as we showed our support for the civil union legislation, to say I was surprised would have been the understatement of the century. He had resisted everything.

Another dinner out, just the two of us- denied.

Another dinner out, with his, my, or both sets of friends- denied.

More coffee was turned down too.

I had given up... Then, Alice worked her magic. She probably threatened to fill his house with goldenrod for all I know, and I did _not_ want to know. Alice is loving, determined, and loyal to a fault. She also can be headstrong, demanding, and manipulative if it means ensuring the happiness of those she loves.

Now, I sat here pressed against Edward who had taken to bouncing his leg slightly as he talked to Alice about working as a music teacher, and I was hard as a rock. Each pulse of his knee made me glad the table came out far and no one could see my lap. I'm pretty sure Edward knew what he was doing to me as each time he raised his napkin to wipe his lips and then returned it to his lap, his finger brushed my thigh.

I could have been eating lumps of salt for all I knew. I couldn't taste anything. Each bite was mechanically chewed and swallowed while I watched his Adam's apple bob as he downed his coffee or drank ice water. Every now and then, a pointed shoe caught me in the shin and Alice smirked as I roughly whispered "What?" in response.

It was almost nine before we got on the road, Alice shoving Edward and I into the far back seat of her van while she somehow maneuvered Jake and Demetri into the front bench seat with her so that there was an entire empty row between us. "The middle row is the only one the signs fit on, Silly," had been her sole response to Jake as he questioned her. She hadn't even let him consider the idea of us taking separate cars, carting us from Madison to Chicago in her flower plastered delivery van. I was up early to drive from Rockford to Madison to make it in time for breakfast and was glad to not need to drive us to Chicago. If I hadn't been so hyper-aware of Edward's every movement, I might have taken a much needed nap.

We were nearing I-90 East in Rockford before Edward stopped looking out the window and turned toward me. I found the music was turned up a little more as he started talking. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" The question left my lips even as I realized what he was talking about. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Edward's hands shook, reawakening my years of guilt, and he rubbed one finger over my hand where it rested on the seat between us. "I think, out of everything, I missed your friendship the most." I nodded in response to his statement, unable to come up with something to say in response that wouldn't sound cliché, less than genuine, or that I was trying too hard. Offering the only thing I could, I turned my palm up, rejoicing as he rested his hand in mine.

Nearing the suburbs, Edward pulled away from me to grab the pie and set my styrofoam box in my lap. "It's not as good as my mom's, but it is close. I figured if Alice was going to drag us all over Chicago, we'd need some sugar in our systems." We ate our pie, me with my right hand and Edward with his left**, **our fingers intertwined once more on the seat between us.

No other words were shared as Alice wove us in and out of cars already going fifteen to twenty miles over the speed limit. I heard Jake complaining about the speed, followed by a sharp yelp as she pinched his ear. "I want us to get a good spot. Now, shush!"

Edward and I, however, only had eyes for each other. His hand and mine constantly shifted, fingers rubbing along rough spots and tiny scars, pale skin and tan, and each time our fingers laced and he squeezed- I felt my butterflies fill my stomach. I was crushing on Edward. Me, the asshole of Rockford and Madison who had fucked his way through most of the well-to-do eligible gay bachelors after Alistair and I parted ways; I was acting like I had a school boy crush. It was as pathetic as it was exciting.

As Alice pulled into the parking structure, I found a small resurgence of courage, or maybe just foolish bravery. Leaning closer, I whispered his name.

"What?"

I swallowed the rest of his question with a gentle kiss. Soft lips brushed across mine tentatively, and I let my eyelashes part to see his eyes closed tightly. Thinking he was just waiting to run as soon as a door opened, I pulled back, and his hand tightened on mine. Edward's face came closer and this time, it was he who kissed me.


	5. Chapter 5

**I hadn't planned on posting this until tomorrow, but I'm pretty impatient and may not be around tomorrow. I have massive writing to do to keep to my next original fic deadline. **

**Thank you to those who have reviewed. I appreciate the time you've taken to read and leave comments. **

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* * *

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**EPOV- 6 months later**

I looked at Jasper as he fidgeted with his baseball cap and licked his lips, again. Catching my gaze in the mirror, he smiled. "I still taste like your chapstick, Edward."

My shoulders ached from the backpack as I shrugged. "There are worst things you could taste like." In response to the arched eyebrow I received, I added, "Girl, for one." Watching him fuss with his shoulder-length waves again, I reached up and flicked the brim of his hat. "Get your ass in the car, Babe. We're going to be late. Today's the day."

For months, Illinois Courts and Officials had been battling to give same-sex couples the right to civil unions. Finally, after more stalling, red tape, and bullshit bureaucracy, we were finally going to get an answer- today. I still had two more weeks before classes resumed, this term I was offering private piano and vocal lessons to college students in DeKalb, IL. It was a bit of a drive, though manageable, from the loft Jasper had moved me into just days after he saw me looking at classifieds for the Chicago area.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Here you go." Jasper slid a a keyring with two keys on it across the table as he leaned over to give me a quick kiss. Beside the key was a rather thick sticker printed with the word "Resident Pass."

"What's this, Jasper?" I asked as he slid into the booth in the coffee shop where we'd agreed to meet. My lips tingled from even such a short brushing of his on mine, and I wondered when we would go further than, to borrow a teenage term, "making out," or as I had learned to call it- the "Jasper's stupid fucking reformation and promise to treat me the way he always should have, and won't do more than kiss me, or if we've been out drinking with his or my friends, we might dry hump each other before he leaves and I go finish myself in the shower"stage of our relationship. It wasn't like I was a virgin still; I mean, I was far from worldly in that regard, my lovers were few, but I had more than enough experience with Jake alone to make up for not playing the field.

When Jasper didn't respond, simply turned his attention to the list of today's specials written on the blackboard across the room, I spun the ring around my finger while watching his jaw as he clenched his teeth to fight a smile. I already knew all of his expressions. He was baiting me, and fuck was it working. Jasper just had this way to get under my skin and throw aside my usual reservations. "It looks like a key and pass to get into the parking garage for your loft, Babe."

He hummed and sucked at his lower lip. Jasper was dying to tell me his idea, as if I hadn't already put two and two together. Sadly, the number I was coming up with was not four, and more like unlucky thirteen. We weren't ready for this after just four months of dating. I wasn't sure I was ready to put myself on the line like that again. While neither of us had set out to hurt the other, we had, and the counseling we had just started going to, as a way to deal with our lingering issues, had given us both the impression that we needed to go slowly. Well, going slow was great and all, but the time I spent thinking about Jasper, those generically obnoxious star tattoos and all, was leaving me in a near-constant state of arousal. I needed something to take the edge off so I wouldn't begin snapping at him.

"Does this mean you're asking me to come visit your pretty little loft and not making me park out on the street?" I had only been to his home a few times, and each occasion had me leaving before dark so I could drive back to Mad-town. "Maybe I can sleep on your couch and do a morning walk of shame to start up the gossip in your building." I kept my tone light and conversational, instead of the goading plea I was truly making to understand where his mind was.

He closed his eyes and spun to face me, lashes still firmly pressed upon the swell of his cheeks. "Can it, Edward." He smiled and then rolled his eyes, opening them as he did so. "I want you to move in with me."

"It's too soon," I argued quickly.

"I have another bedroom there that I use as storage. Half the shit can go down to the storage room I rent in the basement, and the rest can be sold." When I voiced my concern about a job, he held up one finger while fishing in his pocket with the other hand. "Check this out."

I scanned the print out Jasper was holding, of listings at NIU, looking for a music instructor willing to work irregular, yet long hours, offering private lessons to music majors. "I...um. I'm not sure, Jasper. I was already looking in Chicago, to be nearer my parents."

"It's less than two hours on Ninety the way you drive, about an hour if I'm driving. I own the place outright.. Unless you want to do permanent changes like putting down carpet over the hard wood, or knocking out walls, I don't care what you do to the bedroom, walk in closet, and private bathroom. It can be yours; no rent. Just pay for your own food and if you want to pitch in towards utilities, I wouldn't stop you." Seeing the key discarded on the table, Jasper set it in my hand once more. "We'd have separate rooms, and with both of our hours, this would give us a chance to work on us. I love you. I want you. I want this to work, and with the study I'm about to start, I won't have time to keep driving up to Madison two and three times a week."

I swallowed hard, feeling traitorous tears building. "Jasper, I don't think we're ready." I hated saying it, but I had to be honest. "I don't think _I'm _ready. I love you, I do- hell, you know that better than I do. All those things said, we're still working out all our shit from before. Me moving in, as wonderful as that sounds, could tear it all apart."

Abandoning his side of the booth for mine, Jasper cupped my face in his hands and looked at me, his gaze intense. "Tell me, truthfully, that you don't want this. Just for you and me, not for what you think is the logical answer. Tell me you don't want to wake up and know that I'm just down the hall. Tell me you don't want to fight over who fucked up the coffee, sending us to the cafe down the street before work. Tell me you don't love me more than you love the idea of being in control, and I'll drop the subject."

With those blue eyes looking so lovingly into mine, I was helpless. "I make perfect coffee, thank you so very fucking much."

Knowing he'd convinced me to at least try, he grinned. "Then I think you should move your lovely ass in with me and make me coffee every damn morning. What do you think of that?"

I leaned forward, closing the small gap between us and smiled against his lips. "I think you better get a back brace and some strong friends, because I'm not lifting a thing, Jasper."

**End Flashback**

* * *

Living with Jasper was interesting. He was a very conscientious roommate; he never left a mess, even did _my_ laundry if I was out late for a class, and didn't bat an eyelash when I was up until two or three in the morning sitting at the keyboard I had brought with me and set in front of the window with the best view from his, no, _our_, home. Watching him walk across the hall in his towel was distracting.

I had helped him work on retiling the bathroom in his ensuite personal spa, but for whatever reason, he continued to use the guest bathroom off the main living area, and padded down the hall, leaving damp prints down the wood flooring, as he went to his bedroom. I think he did it to taunt me, those tight globes pressing against the back of his towel, the unmistakable ridge in front when he caught me looking, the flush to his skin if I whistled... He was a fucking tease, and I loved him even more for it because I knew he did just for me. On our drive from our hotel outside Springfield to where the people we had met online were meeting up near the Courthouse he had teased me even more. I was able to exact my revenge when we got there, although I think the hard-on he gave me for hours was still a better punishment.

"Oh, hell no. Hell. Fucking. No." Jasper looked at the signs as I took them out of the trunk of my car and handed him one with _HOMO SEX IS SIN-SATIONAL_. "There is no way I'm carrying that." He turned down _IF GOD HATES GAYS, WHY ARE WE SO CUTE? _as well as _I'LL BET THAT MY MARRIAGE OUTLASTS BRITNEY SPEARS'_

My smile was devilishly serene as I handed him the last one, face down. "That's fine, Love; you can carry this one instead." It was one of Alice's, and larger than she was. How she carried it, I have no idea. She'd given it to me for today seeing as mine were a tad more controversial.

**THE GAY AGENDA**

**1. SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY**

**2. BE TREATED EQUALLY**

**3. IMPROVE THE SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE RATE**

**4. GET GROCERIES**

"Do I have to?" His pout was obnoxiously effective and I shrugged. "Is it that important to you, Edward?"

"You're here with me. I'll deal if I'm the only one of us holding a sign as long as you dance for me again."

Jasper made what was supposed to be a strong-looking pose, I think, and let out a deep laugh. "With both arms free, I can better protect you from any aggressive protesters."

I couldn't hold back a snort as his hand moved down to cup my ass and squeezed. "More like you can better grope me." He gave me a wink as he reached to grab the backpack. "Jasper Whitlock, you are insufferable."

"Yes, he is." A smooth voice replied to me from behind us, making both Jasper and me stiffen.

"Al-Alistair, I'm surprised to see you here." Jasper's tone was tight and high, panic, or worry, setting in.

I turned to see a well-dressed gentleman with jet black hair slickened back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and a gray umbrella resting atop a shining shoe. Silver hair dusted his temples, accentuating bright eyes that sparkled with malign amusement. The way he looked at Jasper was far too predatorial for my tastes. "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. And you are?" I knew perfectly well who this rich asshole was, but wasn't going to play any of my cards unless I had to.

He rolled his eyes at my outstretched hand and turned to Jasper. "How are you doing, Boy? Is this your new plaything?" His eyes flicked to me and back again.

"Actually, Al, I'm much more his than he is mine. Otherwise, yes, this is my Edward, the one I know I told you about, back in the day." His arm went around my waist, fingers splayed out over my hip in a definite "this is mine, back the fuck off" manner.

"I see. I'm here with my new pet. I think I may keep this one, perhaps even marry him. Alec, why am I waiting?" Alistair's voice rose, and a pale young man, maybe twenty-two, if he had even passed his twentieth year, jogged over from a black Bentley.

"I'm sorry, Alistair. I was finalizing our dinner reservations. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realize you were with friends. Please, forgive my rudeness." Turning to Jasper and me, he nodded his head. "Hello, I'm Alec."

Alec and Alistair. How... quaint. "Edward." I offered my hand, and was surprised that he shook it, despite Alistair's sharp shake of his head. "This is my..." I was cut off as Jasper offered his name and shook Alec's hand.

…

Later, as we stood on the corner, watching the faces of the reporters for any change in their expressions. The sun had long since disappeared over the trees, and the wind had turned chill, with rain clouds on the horizon. We would all be wet soon if a decision wasn't reached. Then, Jasper screamed.

"They did it. We did it!"

More talking was impossible as his lips crashed onto me bloodying my lower one as his teeth smashed on mine, pinning the flesh between us as he kissed me in desperate excitement. He parted, covering the ear he had the earbud in as he listened to the local NPR station, dancing foot to foot, kissing me between statements.

"It passed, Edward. It just barely fucking passed!"

We danced in the sudden downpour as we kissed, other voices raising up in celebration. His hands pulled me tight to him as the doors opened, but I couldn't stop looking at the flushed, beautiful, man before me. One day, we could be married. _Wait... married. To Jasper? Is that what I want? Yes. Yes, he is what I want, always. _I could propose at Christmas. I'd write him a song, play it on the piano, as well as sing it, at the party we're hosting on Christmas Eve, and have the ring somehow attached to his wine glass or champagne flute. Everything would be perfect. I couldn't wait to share our excitement, and my epiphany, with our counselor at my next visit.

Whispers and shouts, kisses and lengthy hugs, were shared as the news spread through the people standing on the stairs. Strangers squeezed our arms, kissed cheeks, and otherwise cheered as Jasper lifted me off my feet and spun us around in the rain. That silky voice broke our merriment as Alistair appeared at our elbows.

"I see you've heard the news. Our other guests have found themselves too amorous for a civilized dinner, and we thought we would offer the space to the two of you."

Jasper stiffened, and I tightened my grasp on his hand. "We'd love to, Alistair." With an exaggerated look at our drenched clothing, I met Alistair's glare with one of my own. "We're a bit wet, and I doubt where you're taking us would approve. If we might have some time to tidy ourselves, we can meet you at... I'm sorry, where are we meeting?"

It was Alec who cut in this time, sensing the cat fight brewing as I staked my claim on Jasper. "Indigo. Our reservations aren't for another hour, so there should be plenty of time to go back to your lodging and change into something presentable." He reached into his back pocket and then handed me a business card, white with black ink, and a single blossom etched on the front with the word _Indigo_. "The address is on the back.. It is fairly easy to find. We shall see you there."

0o0o0o0o0o0

To say that dinner went well would be a lie. To say it went even moderately civilized would be an overstatement. Alistair's constant jibes at Jasper, asking how the loft was, asking me if I minded the small scars on Jasper's shoulders from some of their playtimes, and other crude comments that were not appropriate for a dinner table, all had me on edge.

Sensing my mood, Jasper tried to appease me by stroking up and down my thigh. All he was managing to do was make me horny on top of being pissed off. My mouthed "cut it out" was met with a smile when Alistair and Alec gave their order to the server.

By the time we had finished our meals and ordered dessert, Jasper had divulged that I was living with him, a touchy subject for just the two of us and close friends, let alone to two people who were strangers to me. I'd had enough. I was not going to be some toy for Jasper to show off as his new boyfriend to say "fuck you" to an ex.

"I'm out of here. You two can finish your head games. Alec, in your magic pocket of business cards, do you have one for a taxi company?" Not waiting for a response, I threw my napkin onto the table and stood up. Jasper could figure out my bill and I'd pay him back later, or not, depending on how much he grovelled.

When he stood up beside me, taking my arm, I cringed away, fearing he was going to pull me back down. Instead, his voice was soft and gentle, his touch- tender. "Alistair, will you please excuse me and my fiance?"

Fiance? What was Jasper doing? I was as pissed at him for pulling all his caveman acts as I was in shock to be referred to as his fiance. I let him tug me into the restaurant's lobby and then dug my heels down into the plush crimson carpet when we passed the hostess' podium.

"Your fiance? Excuse me, Jasper, but I didn't know I held such an honor." By now, my hands were on my hips, and I knew the fight was going to be a spectacular sight to any passersby. My lungs stretched, filling to capacity as I took in a breath to berate Jasper for his all evening long jealous display, when he knocked every bit of oxygen from me by dropping down onto one knee.

"Edward, I've fucked up, a lot. I can't even promise to not fuck up again. I know I have today around Alistair. But, I can promise to try not to do anything to hurt you, and I hope you know I would never in a million years do something intentional to harm your trust in me, or the love you've so graciously given back to me. I love you, Edward, more than I thought was humanly possible."

Tears coated my hands as Jasper rained a thousand kisses onto my palms and then tucked something into my right hand and closed my fingers over it. "Edward, my sugar-lipped siren, you're it for me. You always have been, and there's no way it is your honor- it would be my honor, Edward, if you would consent to marry me now that our lovely state has seen fit to give us the right to legally do so."

* * *

I was still staring at the platinum band with its inset diamonds and emeralds as Jasper pulled into the loft's parking garage. He made the three and a half hour drive in a little over two hours. I'm notorious for sleeping in the car, especially when a passenger at night, but hadn't been able to close my eyes. Jasper was still laughing as he pulled me out of the car. "We're home."

I nodded as we went up the elevator to our floor, then frowned. "Not quite home. Soon." We walked in silence, Jasper obviously trying to decipher my words as I led Jasper down the hall to our loft, fumbled with my keys to unlock the door, relocked it behind us, and wandered to my bedroom. Seeing Jasper, now barefoot, in my room, his hair looking almost feral with the sleepy yet hungry look in his eyes. "Now we're home, Babe. You, me, one room, a bed..." I trailed off as I pulled my shirt up over my head and tossed it in the direction of the hamper.

"Is that your way of seducing me?" I shrugged in response to his question. "Well, it's working regardless."

"You're a horn dog."

"Yep." Jasper rocked back onto his heels and then his toes before taking the two steps between us. "I fucking love you, Edward Cullen, soon-to-be Whitlock."

"Stay with me tonight?" I asked, my hands shaking as I reached for his shirt buttons. "I want to sleep in your arms."

We didn't just sleep.

Soft groans, teasing hands, and hard kisses had both of us exploding as we touched one another intimately for the first time in over a decade. Where we had rushed through our first time, we savored and reveled in the sensuality we shared now.

After, we both slept peacefully as the languor of our shared masturbation overtook us. It was nearing dawn, or felt like it at least, when a gentle, wet, prodding along my shaft awoke me. "Jazz?" I asked, my voice husky with sleep.

A teasing hum and chuckle vibrated against my sack as his tongue laved one, and then the other, of my balls before his lips parted to suck on each one. "Fuck! Jasper..." Further speech was quickly abandoned as he worshiped me with his mouth. My flesh resisted the gentle probing at first, but gave way to the insistent flicks of his tongue as he teased me. The firm pressure as he lapped at my entrance had me wriggling on the bed, trying to gain leverage to push against his face. I needed more than his tongue, talented though he was at using it.

Strong hands groped my ass, pushing and pulling at my skin. Each squeeze lifted my hips up to Jasper's mouth, and he fluttered his tongue over me, earning keening wails for more. With each parting of my flesh, his tongue thrust into me, and was soon replaced by one, and then two, fingers. When he reached to stroke my cock in time with each prodding of his fingers, I thought I was going to scream. Jasper elicited delicious lightning in my body that seemed to focus in my cock, ass, balls- everywhere he touched with intention to please.

It was looking down at him, those blue eyes almost glazed with his lust for me, feeling his erection against my leg, seeing one hand wrapped around my shaft, the other massaging my prostate with the touch of an expert, that did more than any physical sensation. His blatant _want_, for lack of a better word, took me right to the edge where pain and pleasure were one and the same.

"Oh, God. Nnnn. Jazz." I whimpered between the few intelligible words I could form. It was... "Jasper!" He did something with his lips at the base of my cock, and I was gone. Waves crashed over me and buoyed me up higher with each stroke of his fingers inside.

I felt him withdraw as I stiffed, and his body covered mine as I relaxed out of the orgasm. "Fuck, Jasper; that was..." Despite all my education, I could not come up with a word better than "wow."

He rocked his pelvis against my hip. "Yes, you are very 'wow,' Edward. Seeing you let go like that, because of me, was better than anything I've ever experienced." He murmured something against my neck as he nipped the sweaty flesh, something that sounded an awful lot like, "I'm glad I woke you up."

His whispered turned to kisses, and then Jasper reached for a handful of tissues from the beside table to help clean up the sticky remnants of the mess we'd made. I watched him, my body still half-liquid from the languor he had thrown me into, as he curled into my side and acted as if he was going to return to sleeping.

"What are you doing, Jasper?"

He smiled, and whispered, "I'm going back to bed for a few hours," before closing his eyes.

"You're hard"

"And you're observant," he chuckled against my shoulder. "I'm fine, Edward. It won't be the first time I've ignored my dick, and it won't be the last I'm sure. Besides, this was about you, Sugar-lips."

I made a small sound of displeasure and shook my head. "No, Jasper; this was about us. I want you to feel as good as you made me feel. And," I continued after a deep breath, "I want you inside me."

I was ready... _We_ were ready. "Jasper, I love you, and want to have you make love to me again. Neither of us are virgins; we both know what we're doing. Make love with me, Babe."

He sputtered. Jasper Whitlock, the smooth, Southern, charmer of the Rockford well-to-do men, sputtered because I wanted his cock up my ass. Well, it _was_ probably more the emotions and meaning behind the act, of coming full circle.

"You're sure about this, Edward?"

I nodded and bit my lip before answering, the words already at the tip of my tongue. "As sure as the first time. I love you; I always have. The years in between were just there to ready us for one another."

Where we'd had pain before, there was just an impossible pressure and incredible ache as he pressed into me, a fullness that had never been more right as he buried himself to the base, our bodies as joined as possible. I clung to his back, and he to mine, as we pulled one another infinitely closer. At our angle, Jasper couldn't really thrust, so we rocked; occasionally, I clenched around him, my body massaging intimately as our flesh slid in the sweaty heat we created. My cock grew slowly with each movement, trapped between our stomachs, enticing Jasper to rub side to side as he tried to bring me to another peak.

His hair was in my face, his fingers grew painful as he scratched at my skin, and soon he knelt between my thighs, needing the leverage. With a brief shake of my head, Jasper stilled, and then withdrew. Before he could voice his question, I flipped over, and rose onto my knees before reaching back for his hip.

I had to wait only a heartbeat before Jasper reentered me, and then reached beneath to pull me up against his chest. We were supported by my hands on the headboard, and his arms wrapped around me. This new angle pushed us higher and harder, the sound of slapping skin just barely drowned out by that of our pleasured grunts and the squeak of our bed springs. And then, he cried out, and those delicious arms tightened further, squeezing the air from my lungs as his heat filled me.

With my lover still quaking in the aftershocks of our coupling, I reached down and tugged on my erection, shivering from the sensitivity of each touch. Jasper groaned as my body rocked against his, and nearly screamed as I came again, my ass tightening around his spent cock.

We collapsed to the bed, with Jasper still inside me, and it was with a rather rude sounding wet_ plop_ that our bodies finally uncoupled. Not wanting to move more than necessary, my arm flopped to the the table on my side, and after several failed fumbles, I made contact with the small packet of baby wipes. I didn't bother with finesse, and just ripped the packaging apart at the seam. Giving a handful to Jasper, I roughly wiped myself before tossing the powder-scented sheets to the floor.

Jasper and I fell asleep, sticky, sweaty, and in a state of complete, worn-out, bliss. No matter what happened, this morning after our community won, and our life after, we would be fine. We had found our way back to each other, and both of us had learned what we were apart, so knew what to do to be together; our dreams each night had nothing on our real life together.

* * *

**The end. **

**Thank you so much to Team Fiberkitty for their generous donations for this story, and the others to come. The next story I'll be working on is Yes, Master- a Seth/Edward, mildly BDSM, story. It will have 3-7 more chapters added to the two posted; the boys haven't told me exactly what they want yet.  
**


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